Killerbahn 2014


Help me celebrate my third consecutive 25th birthday.

Hey lovelies.

When I was a youngster growing up in the midwest I would always see commercials for Schlitterbahn. There wasn’t one for thousands of miles so it was a pretty brutal tease, but it turned into this mythical place. Like Narnia.

If Narnia had a lot of water that diapered babies swam in.

I don’t normally do birthdays. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I had a party, but when it happened I was at least ten years younger, two feet shorter, and ten times as overcompensatingly masculine.

But that’s all silly.

I’m well over the hill that is 25 and quickly approaching the malaise I’ve been promised with 30. So let’s do this. Carpool leaving at 9:00am from Torchies (meet at 8:30 if you wanna shove fried avocado in your mouth with me). I’ll pack enough hummus, vegan pasta salad, and surreptitious booze to fuel a hipster revolution. You just need to bring a towel, water wings, and sunblock.

My birthday is actually July 21st, but we’ll keep that a secret.

If we get more than 15 people we’ll save about $9/person, otherwise it’s $48/person. I’m happy to do an ‘I’ll buy the group tickets and then you give me dollars or I’ll break your knees’ kinda thing. Or we can just go maverick.

You don’t have to drink (obvs). Please don’t get me presents (srsly). I really hope you’re there to share this day with me (frealz).

Peace. Love. Giardia.

sK

Location

Schlitterbahn New Braunfels Waterpark

400 N Liberty Ave, New Braunfels, TX, United States

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